SPRAWDZENIE ROZPRAWKI NT. SCHOOL VS FAMILY

Bardzo proszę o sprawdzenie w kontekście wszystkich rodzajów błędów niniejszej pracy ;)

Does school play a more important role than the family in shaping one’s personality?

Influence of family and school on the young man is undoubtedly huge. Parents for obvious reasons have to bring up and educate their children. The problem begins with the question whether the school should also raise and thus shape personality of the young generation. Both sides have mind of one's own. Who is right?
One point in favour of the role of schools is that it is at school where children first learn to socialise. Making friends and spending time with other peers can help our kid with building suitable attitude against environment and thus facilitate life in society in the future. An additional argument in support of school is that young people are exposed to a wide variety of subjects. This is very important issue because by this children can discover own interests which undoubtedly has an impact on their future.
On the other hand, most children have a closer relationship with their parents than with their teachers. Going to school every kid has already some system of values. Tutors by own behavior should only confirm that, what their students already know. Moreover, so much of the school day is devoted to learning so there is a little time left for personality development. Consequently, the students school life is limited to tests and craming without space for pure pedagogy.
Summing up, it is undeniable fact that the school is touched by each of us. To my mind this institution should only help with process of growing up but certainly can’t replace parental education.

THE influence of family and school on the young man (a dlaczego nie 'young woman?)is undoubtedly huge. Parents for 'obvious reasons' (a niby jakie?) have to bring up and educate their children. The problem begins with the question whether the school should also raise and thus shape THE personality of the young generation.
Both sides have 'mind of one's own' (to jest niegram i nie rozumiem o co chodzi).
Making friends and spending time with other peers can help our 'kid' (dlaczego raz 'children' a pozniej 'kid' to sa rozne regist- consistency) with building A suitable attitude against environment and thus facilitate life in society in
the future.
This is A very important issue because by this children can discover THEIR own interests which undoubtedly 'has' (ale interests to l. mn- dlaczego has?) an impact on their future.
Going to school every 'kid' CHILD has already some system of values. Tutors by THEIR own behavior should only confirm that, 'what' WHICH their students already know.
Consequently, the student's school life is limited to tests and cramMing without space for pure pedagogy.
Summing up, it is AN undeniable fact that 'the school is touched by
each of us' (to nie jest logiczne, raczej...we are touched by the school)