Prosze o sprawdzenie :))

Trochę dużo tego, ale i tak nie udało mi sie dobić do 200 ;))
Gdyby ktoś był tak miły poswiecic troche czasu to bardzo prosze:

Nowadays many people can hardly imagine their life without using electronic appliances. These devices cause that life become much easier. Owing to them one can save his time or energy. To may way of thinking these appliances are very useful.
First of all, these devices are a good source of information. In the Net one can find many various opinions or facts relate to the topic which he is interested in. This is also much more faster than traditional ways of searching.
In addition to this, electronic systems can prevent many shops or companies from thefts and burglaries. When someone wants to enter the shop and do a harm the alarm sets off and security comes immediately.
On the other hand these electronic appliances are very expensive. They need much electricity which is costly nowadays. According to this many people cannot afford it. This situation makes their life difficult.
Consequently, I strongly support using electronic appliances. In spite of losing many electricity they are also very useful and help with time and energy saving. Therefore, I think that living without electronics is impossible and everyone should have access to them.

These devices 'cause' (zle slowo - tutaj result..i cos wiecej trzeba) that life become much easier. Owing to them one can save 'his' (a dlaczego nie 'her'?) time or energy. To 'may' MY way of thinking these appliances are very useful.
First of all, 'these devices' (wczesniej musisz napisac wlasciwie o jakie 'devices' tu chodzi) are a good source of information. In the
Net one can find many various opinions or facts relatING to the topic
which 'he' (dlaczego piszesz 'one' a wtedy 'he' - wystarczy 'one') is interested in. This is also much more faster than THE traditional ways of searching.
When someone wants to enter the shop and do a 'harm' (nie wiem czy to najlepsze slowo) the alarm sets off and security MAN comes immediately.
'According' (nie, to jest zle slowo - lepiej BECAUSE) 'to' OF this many people cannot afford 'it' THEM. This situation makes their 'life' (tutaj l. mnoga od life ' LIVES) difficult.
In spite of 'losing many' USING MUCH electricity they are also very useful and help with time and 'energy saving' (ale w jaki sposob, jak one uzywaja 'duzo electricvity?). Therefore, I think that living without
electronics is impossible and everyone should have access to them (but only if they want to.)

These devices 'cause' (zle slowo - tutaj result..i cos wiecej trzeba)
tzn?
These devies result in becoming life much easier ??
Owing to them one can save 'his' (a dlaczego nie 'her'?)
Gdzies czytalam, ze jak sie uzywa one to zaimek dzierzawczy to zamiennie one's lub wlasnie his.
In spite of 'losing many' USING MUCH electricity they are also very useful and help with time and 'energy saving' (ale w jaki sposob, jak one uzywaja 'duzo electricvity?)
Chodzilo mi o moją energię ;) Faktycznie, niezbyt dokladnie przekazane.

Dzieki wielkie za pomoc:)

*These devies result in becoming life much easier ?? - nie...
These devices result in life becoming much easier.