opowiadanie

witam. chciałabym poprosić o pomoc w przetłumaczeniu opowiadania. jednak z powodu jego długości, wolałabym wysłać komuś na maila. z góry dziękuję za pomoc. :)

Podziękujesz jak uzyskasz pomoc, ale nie o taką prosisz.

Wklej po malych kawalkach oryginal i wlasne tlumaczenia, a na pewno ktos poprawi :)
W ten sposób nauczysz sie czegoś więcej, niż tylko szybkiego chodzenia na skróty!

ok. w takim razie polecę częściami. ;)

po polsku:
Znali się od zawsze. Robili razem rzeczy, o których bałbyś się kiedykolwiek pomyśleć. Byli dla siebie wsparciem, jakiego prawdopodobnie nigdy nie miałeś. Rozmawiali o rzeczach, o których wstydziłbyś się pomyśleć. Łączyło ich coś wyjątkowego, coś, co nigdy nie łączyło żadnych dwóch innych osób na świecie.
Mieszkali zaraz obok siebie. On, prawie 20 lat starszy, ale jak przystało na mężczyznę, zawsze się nią opiekował. Ratował z opresji, brał w ramiona, gdy płakała i przychodził do niej w nocy, gdy nie mogła spać. Oboje nigdy nie wierzyli w przyjaźń. Pewnie dlatego, nigdy nie byli prawdziwymi przyjaciółmi. Zawsze było pomiędzy nimi coś więcej.

po ang:
They have known each other since forever. They have done things, which you wouldn’t even think of. They were supporting each other the way you probably have never known. They have talked about stuff, which you’d be ashamed of. They were connected by something, which have never connected any other people in the world.
She lived next door to his. He, almost 20 years older than she, but as man should do, he always took care of her. He rescued her from oppressions, took her in his arms when she was crying and came by at nights when she couldn’t sleep. Both of them have never believed in friendship. Maybe that was the reason, why they never were real friends. There was always something more.

not that bad :)

Since forever they have known each other. The things they have been doing would have never come across your mind. The support they were giving to each other was one you have probably never experienced. By something special that no one in the world ever felt they were connected with each other.
She lived next door to him. He, almost 20 years older, always proved gentleman and took care of her. Came to the rescue if intimidated was she, took her in his arms when she was crying and was tucking her in if she couldn't sleep. As for the two the friendship was never in their minds, so real friends they were none. It clearly explains why that glint in their eyes always meant more than just friends.

Nie pamiętali dnia, w którym się poznali i nigdy nie mieli czasu, by się nad tym zastanowić. Ich dni leciały o wiele szybciej, niż powinny. Mieli więcej zajęć, więcej uczuć i więcej wrażeń do opowiedzenia. Mimo, że nie wiedzieli, kiedy to wszystko się zaczęło, kochali się od pierwszego dnia.
Cały świat był przeciwko nim. Różnica wieku, zakłócanie tradycji i wiele innych powodów, za które byli prześladowani. Żyli, bowiem w czasach, gdy ludzie byli przeciwni tego rodzaju ‘mieszankom’. Lecz oni walczyli, przeciwko wszystkiemu i wszystkim.

They didn’t remember the day, that they have met each other, but they never have had time to think about it. Their time has run faster than it should be. They were busier; they had more feelings and more [wrażeń] to tell. Even though they didn’t know when all that has started, they knew one thing. They have loved each other since day one.
Whole world was against them. Age difference, breaking traditions and other reasons why they shouldn’t be together, and why they were persecuted. It was like that, because they lived at times, when people were against of “mixes” like that. Even though, they were fighting. They were together. No matter what or who.

merix -
kochanie- Co ty zrobiles z tym tlumaczeniem -
tam tylko znalazlam to ...
They were connected by something, which haS never connected any other people in the world.
Maybe that was the reason, why they 'never were' (were never) real friends.

They didn't remember the day, 'that' WHEN they haD met each other, but they
never had THE time to think about it. Their time haD run faster than it should 'be' HAVE. They were busier; they had more feelings and more
[experiences) to tell. Even though they didn't know 'when all' (everything) that haD started, they knew (mozna dodac only) one thing.
THE whole world was (mozna dodac 'set') against them.
THE age difference, breaking traditions and (various) other reasons (tutaj potrzeba ...were the reasons..ale to wtedy powtarza 'reasons') why they shouldn't be together, and why they were persecuted. (zdanie po polsku tez cos nie jest tak.)
THIS 'It' was like that, because they lived 'at' DURING times, when people were against 'of' (niepotr) “mixes" like that.
Zmienilam ostatnie zdanie-
...Lecz oni walczyli, przeciwko wszystkiemu i wszystkim.
...'Even though' No matter what, they fought, against everything and everyone.

ee, teraz się już trochę pogubiłam. czyli to co napisał wcześniej merix jest źle?

zalezy co rozumiesz przez slowo 'zle' -
moze tyle, ze nie jest wierny originalnej polskiej wersji.

ok, przesyłam dalej. najwyżej na koniec wyślę całe i jeszcze powiecie czy coś jest złe.

Były dni, kiedy obrzucali ich domy różnymi rzeczami, wypisywali słowa, których nie wypowiedzieliby, na co dzień. Lecz nawet to nie zabrało im nadziei. Byli sobie przeznaczeni, więc musieli walczyć do ostatniej chwili.
Aż w końcu nadszedł ten dzień. Na zewnątrz było pochmurno jak nigdy. Tak jakby pogoda od razu wiedziała, co ma się stać w przeciągu kilku następnych godzin. I oni, mimo, że nie potrafili się do tego przyznać, także to czuli. Po raz pierwszy w życiu, pojawiło się w ich sercach zwątpienie. Bo może nie warto? Co z tego, że będą szczęśliwi u swoich boków, skoro będą odrzuceni przez większość społeczeństwa? Być może przez takie podejście, tego dnia im się nie udało. Bowiem stracili wszystko. Wszystko, o czym kiedykolwiek marzyli, wszystko, o co walczyli, wszystko, co do tej pory uzyskali.

There were days, when people threw stuff at theirs houses or wrote words they would never say. But even after that, they still have had hope. They were meant to be together, so they had to fight to the very last moment.
And someday there was very cloudly outside. It was like the weather already knew what was going to happen in next few hours. They didn’t want to admit that, but they also felt that something was wrong. For the very first time in their lives there was a doubt in their hearts. Maybe it’s not worth it? Maybe the reason, that they will be happy by their sides, wasn’t enough? Probably that thinking was the cause of that they have lost this time. They have lost everything. Everything that they have ever dreamt of, fight of, and everything that they had won until now.

There were days, when people threw stuff at 'theirs' THEIR houses or wrote
words they would never say. But even after that, they still 'have' (niepotr) had
hope. They were meant to be together, so they had to fight to the very
last moment.
'And' (lepiej uzyj BUT) 'someday' ONE DAY 'there' IT was very cloudly outside. They didn't want to admit 'that' IT, but they also felt that something was wrong. For the very first time in their lives there was 'a' (niepotr) doubt in their hearts.
Maybe the reason, that they 'will be happy by their sides' (lepiej WERE happy side by side), wasn't enough? Probably 'that' THIS thinking was the (mozna dodac 'root') cause of 'that' WHAT they 'have' HAD lost this time. They 'have' HAD lost everything. Everything that they have ever dreamt of, 'fight of' FOUGHT FOR, and everything that they had won until now.

Był to jeden z tych dni w miesiącu, kiedy całe miasteczko zbierało się na obrzeżu miasta by podyskutować o tym, co jest najlepsze i co trzeba pielęgnować oraz o tym, co jest najgorsze i co trzeba natychmiastowo stępić. Niestety, tego dnia trafiło na nich. Wszyscy zebrali się dookoła nich i wyrzucali wszystko, co zrobili, mimo, że nie powinni, przez te wszystkie lata. Wtedy przewodnik, odpowiednik burmistrza, w tamtych czasach, wyszedł do nich na środek i powiedział im, że zostają skazani oraz że jedyne, co mogą zrobić w tej sytuacji, to wybrać sobie sposób egzekucji.
Kilka lat później, na pobliski cmentarz, po raz kolejny w tym tygodniu przyszła niesamowicie piękna dziewczyna. Usiadła ona, jak to miała w zwyczaju na ławeczce stojącej pomiędzy dwoma grobami. Była to ich córka. To ją ukrywali przez cały ten czas. To o niej dowiedzieli się ludzie. I to z jej powodu postanowili uśmiercić jej rodziców. Przychodziła tu najczęściej jak tylko mogła. Siadała pomiędzy sąsiadującymi grobami. Jeden jej matki, drugi ojca. Mimo, że teraz już tylko jako marmurowe pomniki, nadal mieszkali obok siebie. Ona nadal była dziewczyną z sąsiedztwa.

It was one of these days, when everyone gathered outskirts of the town to discuss about what is good and how to take care of it and what is bad and how to destroy it. Unfortunately this time that “bad thing” was them. Everybody stood in the circle and put them in the middle. They started to yell about everything what they have done even though they shouldn’t have for all these years. Then a guide (equivalent of mayor these days) come up to them and told that they will be sentence to death and the only thing they can do about it is chose a way, how they will be execute.
Few years later an unusually beautiful girl came to the neighboring churchyard. She sat, as usual, at bench between two graves. She was their daughter. She was the one, whose they have been hiding for all this time. She was the reason of her parents’ death. She was coming there as much as it was possible and she was sitting between two monuments, one her mother’s and the other one her father’s. They still lived next to each other. She was still the girl next door.

It was one of 'these' THOSE days, when everyone gathered ON THE outskirts... Everybody stood in 'the' A circle and put 'them' (nie wiem do czego to 'them' sie odnosi) in the middle.
They started to yell about everything 'what' THAT they have done even
though they shouldn't have (done it) for all these years. Then a guide
(equivalent of mayor these days) 'come' CAME up to them and 'told' SAID that they will be sentenceD to death and the only thing they 'can' COULD do about it is TO chose a way, how they will be executeD.
Few years later an unusually beautiful girl came to the neighboUring
churchyard. She sat, as usual, at A bench between two graves. She was
their daughter. She was the one, 'whose' WHOM they have been hiding for all
this time. She was the reason 'of' FOR her parents' death.

'them' odnosi się do nich, do tej pary o której jest całe opowiadanie. i co do końca to zależy mi, żeby jeszcze na końcu było to
'Przychodziła tu najczęściej jak tylko mogła. Siadała pomiędzy sąsiadującymi grobami. Jeden jej matki, drugi ojca. Mimo, że teraz już tylko jako marmurowe pomniki, nadal mieszkali obok siebie. Ona nadal była dziewczyną z sąsiedztwa.'
i nie wiem, czy było żle, że zostało pominięte?

ja poprawiam tylko to, co jest zle. Jak zdania sa ok - to sa pominiete.

na 'them' zmien to na 'the couple'..

ok, to teraz wrzucam całość. ;)

Girl next door

They have known each other since forever. They have done things, which you wouldn’t even think of. They were supporting each other the way you probably have never known. They have talked about stuff, which you’d be ashamed of. They were connected by something, which has never connected any other people in the world.
She lived next door to him. He, almost 20 years older than she, but as man should do, he always took care of her. He rescued her from oppressions, took her in his arms when she was crying and came by at nights when she couldn’t sleep. Both of them have never believed in friendship. Maybe that was the reason, why they were never real friends. There was always something more.
They didn’t remember the day, when they had met each other, but they never had the time to think about it. Their time had run faster than it should have. They were busier; they had more feelings and more experiences to tell. Even though they didn’t know when all that has started, they knew one thing. They have loved each other since day one.
The whole world was sat against them. The age difference, breaking traditions and other reasons why they shouldn’t be together were the causes why they were persecuted. This was like that, because they lived during times, when people were against of “mixes” like that. No matter what, they fought, against everything and everyone.
There were days, when people threw stuff at their houses or wrote words they would never say. But even after that, they still had hope. They were meant to be together, so they had to fight to the very last moment.
But one day it was very cloudly outside. It was like the weather already knew what was going to happen in next few hours. They didn’t want to admit it, but they also felt that something was wrong. For the very first time in their lives there was doubt in their hearts. Maybe the reason that were happy side by side, wasn’t enough? Probably this thinking was the root cause of what they had lost this time. They had lost everything. Everything that they have ever dreamt of, fought for, and everything that they had won until now.
It was one of those days, when everyone gathered on the outskirts of the town to discuss about what is good and how to take care of it and what is bad and how to destroy it. Unfortunately this time that “bad thing” was them. Everybody stood in a circle and put them in the middle. They started to yell about everything that they have done even though they shouldn’t have done it for all these years. Then a guide (equivalent of mayor these days) came up to them and said that they will be sentenced to death and the only thing they could do about it is to choose a way, how they will be executed.
Few years later an unusually beautiful girl came to the neighbouring churchyard. She sat, as usual, at a bench between two graves. She was their daughter. She was the one, whom they have been hiding for all this time. She was the reason for her parents’ death. She was coming there as much as it was possible and she was sitting between two monuments, one her mother’s and the other one her father’s. They still lived next to each other. She was still the girl next door.

>merix -
>kochanie- Co ty zrobiles z tym tlumaczeniem -
>tam tylko znalazlam to ...
>They were connected by something, which haS never connected any other
>people in the world.
>Maybe that was the reason, why they 'never were' (were never) real
>friends.

Podszedłem do tego kreatywnie. Kilka emfaz, tlumaczenie jest wierne, przynajmniej ekwiwalencja jest w miare zachowana, no moze ostatnie zdanie. My polacy terii, potrafimy ladnie przetlumaczyc tak by uzyskac jednakowy efekt, np poprzez przestawianie kolejnosci wyrazów, zastapienie negacji w miejscu gdzie jest ona zbedna lub wlasnie utworzenie negacji zamiast zdania oznajmujacego oraz kilka innych (nie bede zanudzal) technik tlumaczenioweych.

z tym "have never" to sie walnalem :D
never were i were never - oba ok

zaraz zaraz terri,

przeciez to nie u mnie bylo to have connected tylko u askera, wprowadzilas mnie w błąd:D

POczątek masz źle, poprawilem, tlumaczenie jest wierne.

merix-
>Podszedłem do tego kreatywnie. My polacy...
Tak, i to rozumiem, ale niekiedy twoja 'kreatywnosc' i przestawienia wyrazow w zdaniu, robi to, ze wyglada to 'dziwnie' po ang. Wiem, kazdy to inaczej widzi, i moze ja juz jestem przyzwyczajona do mojego pogladu na wszystko, ale jak sam wiesz, zawsze jestem otwarta na nowe 'experiences'.

...They were supporting each other IN the wayS you probably have never known. . Both of them 'have' (niepotr) never believed in friendship.
The whole world was 'sat' SET against them.
..against “mixes" (tutaj dalabym mixed relationships) like that.

Girl next door

They have known each other since forever. The things they have been doing would have never come across your mind. The support they were giving to each other was one you have probably never experienced. By something special that no one in the world ever felt they were connected with each other.
She lived next door to him. He, almost 20 years older, always proved gentleman and took care of her. Came to the rescue if intimidated was she, took her in his arms when she was crying and was tucking her in if she couldn't sleep. As for the two the friendship was never in their minds, so real friends they were none. It clearly explains why that glint in their eyes always meant more than just friends.
They didn’t remember the day, when they had met each other, but they never had the time to think about it. Their time had run faster than it should have. They were busier; they had more feelings and more experiences to tell. Even though they didn’t know when all that has started, they knew one thing. They have loved each other since day one.
The whole world was sat against them. The age difference, breaking traditions and other reasons why they shouldn’t be together were the causes why they were persecuted. This was like that, because they lived during times, when people were against of “mixes” like that. No matter what, they fought, against everything and everyone.
There were days, when people threw stuff at their houses or wrote words they would never say. But even after that, they still had hope. They were meant to be together, so they had to fight to the very last moment.
But one day it was very cloudly outside. It was like the weather already knew what was going to happen in next few hours. They didn’t want to admit it, but they also felt that something was wrong. For the very first time in their lives there was doubt in their hearts. Maybe the reason that were happy side by side, wasn’t enough? Probably this thinking was the root cause of what they had lost this time. They had lost everything. Everything that they have ever dreamt of, fought for, and everything that they had won until now.
It was one of those days, when everyone gathered on the outskirts of the town to discuss about what is good and how to take care of it and what is bad and how to destroy it. Unfortunately this time that “bad thing” was them. Everybody stood in a circle and put them in the middle. They started to yell about everything that they have done even though they shouldn’t have for all these years. Then a guide (equivalent of mayor these days) came up to them and said that they will be sentenced to death and the only thing they could do about it is to choose a way, how they will be executed.
Few years later an unusually beautiful girl came to the neighbouring churchyard. She sat, as usual, at a bench between two graves. She was their daughter. She was the one, whom they have been hiding for all this time. She was the reason for her parents’ death. She was coming there as much as it was possible and she was sitting between two monuments, one her mother’s and the other one her father’s. They still lived next to each other. She was still the girl next door.



okej, zmieniłam. nie ma już żadnych błędów stylistycznych, gramatycznych bądź jakiś innych?

ok, robię tak jak mówi terri. Poprawiłam to co było źle.

Girl next door

They have known each other since forever. They have done things, which you wouldn’t even think of. They were supporting each other in the ways you probably have never known. They have talked about stuff, which you’d be ashamed of. They were connected by something, which has never connected any other people in the world.
She lived next door to him. He, almost 20 years older than she, but as man should do, he always took care of her. He rescued her from oppressions, took her in his arms when she was crying and came by at nights when she couldn’t sleep. Both of them never believed in friendship. Maybe that was the reason, why they were never real friends. There was always something more.
They didn’t remember the day, when they had met each other, but they never had the time to think about it. Their time had run faster than it should have. They were busier; they had more feelings and more experiences to tell. Even though they didn’t know when all that has started, they knew one thing. They have loved each other since day one.
The whole world was set against them. The age difference, breaking traditions and other reasons why they shouldn’t be together were the causes why they were persecuted. This was like that, because they lived during times, when people were against of mixed relationships like that. No matter what, they fought, against everything and everyone.
There were days, when people threw stuff at their houses or wrote words they would never say. But even after that, they still had hope. They were meant to be together, so they had to fight to the very last moment.
But one day it was very cloudly outside. It was like the weather already knew what was going to happen in next few hours. They didn’t want to admit it, but they also felt that something was wrong. For the very first time in their lives there was doubt in their hearts. Maybe the reason that were happy side by side, wasn’t enough? Probably this thinking was the root cause of what they had lost this time. They had lost everything. Everything that they have ever dreamt of, fought for, and everything that they had won until now.
It was one of those days, when everyone gathered on the outskirts of the town to discuss about what is good and how to take care of it and what is bad and how to destroy it. Unfortunately this time that “bad thing” was them. Everybody stood in a circle and put them in the middle. They started to yell about everything that they have done even though they shouldn’t have done it for all these years. Then a guide (equivalent of mayor these days) came up to them and said that they will be sentenced to death and the only thing they could do about it is to choose a way, how they will be executed.
Few years later an unusually beautiful girl came to the neighbouring churchyard. She sat, as usual, at a bench between two graves. She was their daughter. She was the one, whom they have been hiding for all this time. She was the reason for her parents’ death. She was coming there as much as it was possible and she was sitting between two monuments, one her mother’s and the other one her father’s. They still lived next to each other. She was still the girl next door.

zauwaz jeszcze to:
This was 'like that' ('like that' jest niepotrz), because they lived during THE times, when people were against 'of' (niepotr) mixed relationships. 'like that' (niepotr).
But one day it was very 'cloudly' CLOUDY outside.

ok. ogrrrrroomne dzięki. :)

Terri, I know :)

Let me just tell you that what I wrote yesterday wasn't written on the spur of the moment. I took all pros and cons and decided to make it better. Though I might go too far, it's just the last sentence, I stand corrected. But you know, once started I can't help being dazzled by what I'm creating :)

It's not wrongly translated, it's just an artistic approach I wanted to make.
Even if it's artificial in English (I wouldn't say so) your corrections are just based on the original form of the sentences, the asker wrote. They lack many things, and most of all the lack panache, so needed in that kind of stories.

Stories unlike specialist texts (though are exceptions) should not be written in such a style a reader could be "entangled" in their complexity. No! Stories should be written in such a way a reader could identify with main characters and their feelings, thoughts, adventures, etc.

It's not that I make a stand at the other side of the bridge :) No! I just want you to consider my point of view and start correcting sentences the way I do; or you can do both, write your version (just correct mistakes) and then write the other version in which you could demonstrate the real art of English.

It won't work in case you correct big parts of stories, but you can show your invention in small ones.

What I wrote is far more

byc moze nie ma juz bledów, ale tekst zaluguje na dopicowanie.
Taką historyjke mozna naprawde ladnie przedstawic, nie przeczytalbym takiej po ang , gdyz na pewno nie wkrecila by mnie. Radze zasugerowac terri, bardziej kreatywna, wtedy moze bedzie chcialo sie to przeczytac komus.

THE girl next door

gdieś w tekscie
in ways (BEZ THE) YOU WOULDN'T...

Merix: apeluję o zejście na ziemię. Kreatywność ma sens, jeżeli piszący opanował język na odpowiednim poziomie. Jeżeli nie, pojawia się pokraczny, dziwny tekst.

merix-
oczywiscie, jak zawsze, masz racje, ale niekiedy musimy sie dostosowac do mozliwosci pytajacego. Wiem, ze ta sama hisotyjka napisane przez ciebie albo mnie bylaby inna. Kazdy autor wprowadza cos 'od siebie' do wszystkiego, ale pomysl, ze moze pytajaca niema tego zasiegu 'kreatywnosci' co ty - i wtedy, kazdy by poznal, ze to nie ona pisala.