Proszę o sprawdzenie listu motywacyjnego na uczelnię

Temat przeniesiony do archwium.
I have always been curious of the ways money, businesses and the economy affect our lives. If the world is built on finance, I want to understand this area of knowledge. People who understand the monetary and banking system are able to understand the decisions made by the government and their future possible effects.
The world of finance attracts many students. This degree can lead to stable careers associated with high salaries, but for me, personally one of the biggest attractions to this subject is it’s flexibility. It provides the wide range of career opportunities, like: auditing work, corporate finance, tax planning, management accounting etc.
I see accounting as an international common language between businessmen.
All organizations present their performance in the form of financial statements and accounting professionals interpret such statements to monitor the health of the company, that employs them.
I find the banking world and the stock market extremely fascinating and a great desire of mine is to have a career in the field of finance. This aspiration has motivated me to proceed my education in order gain the qualifications and knowledge that will help to achieve this goal.
I decided to realize in the field of accounting whilst having learned to prepare financial statements for organizations during my Bachelor’s Degree in Managerial Economics. I have especially enjoyed the part of the course that concerned selection of financial and investment strategies. The subjects I have studied gave me a well-defined foundation for studying Quantitative Finance.
I am also a student of Psychology. Although studying Psychology may not occur to have a direct influence on accounting, there is nothing further from the truth. It has given me an insight into people’s behavior in social situations and I believe that knowledge I can apply in my future career.
It is my opinion in order to be successful in both academic and career areas a person ought to have a genuine dedication for the subject. I hold a great passion for finance studies. I am highly motivated with a strong desire to enter accounting or financial profession. I have a thirst for knowledge, I work well both within a team and individually and I when set a goal I am able to overcome problems to achieve it.
In the summer I would like to gain work experience with an internship in accounting department of a local computer company, where I wish to learn to apply the knowledge I have already gained in that field.
English is the main language of finance and I want the opportunity to meet with an international students on the course of X.
I assure you that if provided a chance I will prove myself a promising and committed student.
the monetary and banking system – systems
the decisions made by the government – decisions bez the
future possible effects – consequences
This degree – nie wiem o co chodzi
attractions to this subject is it’s flexibility - atractions of, its zamiast it’s
that employs them – nie wiem o co chodzi, co autor miał na mysli
gain the qualifications – bez the
knowledge that will help to achieve this goal – that goal
to proceed my education - to proceed with my education

resztę może ktoś inny sprawdzi
To co napisalas nie jest listem motywacyjnym....Tam nie trzeba opisywac historie ekonomii - za duzo czytania...nikt nie bedzie tak dlugo czytal. Potrzeba max. 10 zdan i do tematu - nie piszesz prace doktoracka, tylko chcesz, zeby ktos, po przeczytaniu pierwszych pare slow chcial czytac dalej.
Dzięki ;) I tak dzisiaj musiałam to już złożyć przed doczekaniem się Waszych odpowiedzi, ale część rzeczy zmieniłam. Pozdrawiam