Sprawdzenie kilku zdań

Cześć,
przygotowuję się do PET'a i ściągnąłem arkusze z poprzednich lat.
Polecenie: Your English teacher has asked you to write a story. Your story must begin with this sentence: Nobady knew what Adam had in his suitcase. Write your story in about 100 words on your answer sheet!

No i to co napisałem

Nobody knew what Adam had in his suitcase. But everyone want to know it. It was normal warm sunny day, with clear sky without clouds.
It was obvious that he has something important or something what is worth a lot.
He was walking through the street with his suitcase in hand when someone has started to shoot to him. After few minutes Adam lay
on the pedestrian zone in puddle of blood. But all the time since he has fallen on zebra crossing, he didn't shout for help. It was strange. Men who has shooted him, has stolen his suitcase and nobody know, what was there.

1. cala narracja ma byc w czasie Past, żadne present perfect, ani simple present
2. pomijasz duzo przedimkow, ale na poziome PET to normalne.

Nobody knew what Adam had in his suitcase. But everyone want UZYJ CZASU PRZESZLEGO to know it. It was PRZEDIMEKnormal warm sunny day, with PRZEDIMEK clear sky without clouds.
It was obvious that he has CZAS PRZESZLY something important or something what is CZAS PRZESZLY worth a lot.
He was walking through the street with his suitcase in hand when someone has startedZLY CZAS to shoot to him. AfterPRZEDIMEK few minutes Adam lay
on the pedestrian zone in PRZEDIMEKpuddle of blood. But all the time since he has fallenZLY CZAS +PRZEDIMEK on zebra crossing, he didn't shout for help. It was strange. PRZEDIMEKMen who has shootedZLY CZAS him, has stolenZLY CZAS his suitcase and nobody know ZLY CZAS, what was there.

bardzo dziękuję, bardzo :)

dopiero się uczę angielskiego i już rozumiem i wiem jak poprawić bez zaglądania do słownika, dziękuję jeszcze raz, napiszę jutro jeszcze jakiś inny tekst i poproszę w tym temacie o sprawdzenie.
dzięki :)

musisz zajrzeć do słownika/materiałów, bo zrobisz źle
jak nie zajrzysz, to nie sprawdzimy

jasne, serio szanuje wasz czas tak wiec otwieram zeszyt i poprawiam, zebyscie 10 razy tego samego nie musieli sprawdzac

Nobody knew what Adam had in his suitcase. But everyone WANTED to know it. It was A normal warm sunny day, with A clear sky without clouds.
It was obvious that he HAD something important or something what WAS worth a lot.
He was walking through the street with his suitcase in hand when someone STARTED to shoot to him. After few minutes Adam lay
on the pedestrian zone in A paddle of blood. But all the time since he FELL on A zebra crossing, he didn't scream to help. It was strange. A Men who SHOOTED him, STOLEN his suitcase and nobody KNEW, what was there.

i już widzę że zamiast shooted powinna być druga forma czyli shot bo to irregular verb

A ja zaproponuję kilka drobnych zmian:

Nobody knew what Adam had in his suitcase. But everyone wanted to GET to know it. It was obvious that he had something important or something what was worth a lot. When it happened it was a normal, warm and sunny day with a clear cloudLESS sky.
He was walking through the street with his suitcase in hand when SUDDENLY someone started to shoot to him. A few minutes later Adam WAS LYING ( musi byc Past Continuous )
on the pedestrian zone in a pUddle of blood. It was strange that he did not even scream FOR help since he fell on the zebra crossing. THE man who had shot him stole his suitcase and nobody GOT to know what was really inside.

Nie chciałam całkowicie reorganizować Twojego tekstu, w końcu jesteś początkujący, więc idealnie jeszcze nie jest.

Ja bym dał ..... wanted to know it, ew. ... to find out;)

Aric

rzeczywiście lepiej jest bez IT na koncu...i choc get to know jest jak najbardziej poprawne, to jakos lżej brzmi Twoje " find out ".

Pozdrawiam

Proszę o sprawdzenie kilku zdań.
The leopard has got a long tail, big eyes and orange hair in black speckles. Has not got whiskers and wings. He is very speed and agile.The leopard live in the jungle. He likes to hunt. The leopard is very dangerous.

w poprzednim:
something that
across the street
shoot at him

mg

masz rację, " something that" ze zmęczenia tego nie wyłapałam. Natomiast miało być oczywiście ACROSS the street i SHOOT AT....ale ciągle coś wklejałam, przestawiałam i przez pomyłkę nie usunęłam tych błędów, choć w mojej wersji tak właśnie było.

nikt nie protestuje, więc widać że masz rację;) Niech napisze get to know it;)

find out pasuje lepiej