prezentacja

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Hej. może ktoś sprawdzić i skorygować błędy w tym tekście? Ma to być wypowiedź na prezentacji. Dzięki z góry :D


MY PASSION

So as you see, my passion is swimming. For many years, it is my great obsession, addiction. Something without which I cannot life. However, at the beginning of my adventure with this sport I really hate do it. It all started with problems with my spine. The doctor said that the best rehabilitation to my affection is swimming. My parents treated this advice very serioulsy and after a shortime they started looking for a person who can do rehablilitation of the water. In my hometown was only one person who was willinf to take on yourself such task. maybe even challange. Already, at the first class there was a problem. Because since my childhood, I' ve had a terribly afraid of water. And I was not able to practise in a big pool. After a few lessons, the trainer said that exercises in small pool without real swimming are useless. To help me overcome the fear, he odered me to jump into tge deep water. When I stood on the edge of the pool, I could't move. I was really terrified. I stared at the flate bottom of the pool for 5 minutes maybe more. At the end, my trainer was really angry at me and he threw me into the water. Since than my fear disappared and I've begun love swimming.
So as you CAN see, SWIMMING IS MY PASSION. For many years, it is< -BYŁO I NADAL JEST, WIEC DAJ TU PRESENT PERFECT my great obsession AND addiction. Something without which I cannot life< -TO JEST RZECZOWNIK, A MASZ DAĆ CZASOWNIK. However, at the beginning of my adventure with this sport I really hate< -CZAS PRZESZŁY!!! do it. It all started withFROM THE problems with my spine. The doctor said that the best rehabilitation to my affection is swimming PISZ PROSTO: DOKTOR POWIEDZIAL, ZE PLYWANIE MI POMOŻE. My parents treated this advice very serioulsy and after a short time they started looking for a person who can< -CZAS PRZESZŁY do rehablilitation of the water REHABILITACJE WODY?. In my hometown THERE was only one person who was willinG to DO IT. maybe even PRZEDIMEK challange NIE WIEM, CO TO ZDANIE TUTAJ ROBI. Already, DURING the first class there was a problem. Because since my childhood, I HAD BEEN terribly afraid of water. And I was not able to practise in a big pool. After a few lessons, the trainer said that exercises in PRZEDIMEK small pool without real swimming are useless. To help me overcome the fear, he oRdered me to jump into tHe deep water. When I stood on the edge of the pool, I could't move. I was really terrified. I stared at the flat bottom of the pool for 5 minutes OR maybe more. At the end, my trainer was really angry at me and he threw me into the water. Since thEn my fear disappared and I've begun BRAK SŁOWA love swimming.
edytowany przez zielonosiwy: 15 mar 2017
here you go - not as bad as the first one (so well done for that), but quite a few errors ...

So as you see, my passion is swimming. For many years, it has been an obsession, an addiction. Something without which I cannot live. However, at the beginning of my adventure with this sport I really did hate it. It all started with some problems with my spine. The doctor said that the best rehabilitation for my condition was swimming. My parents treated this advice very seriously and after a short time, they started to look for a person who can do rehabilitation in water. In my hometown, there was only one person who was willing to take on such a task, or the 'challenge'. Straight away, in the first class there was a problem as, since I was a child, I've been afraid of water and I was not able to swim in a big pool. After a few lessons however, the trainer said that practicing in a small pool and not 'really' swimming was a waste of time. To help me overcome my fears, he ordered me to jump into the deep end in the big swimming pool. When I stood on the edge of the pool, I could't move. I was absolutely terrified. I stared at the flat bottom of the pool for 5 minutes ... maybe more. In the end, my trainer got really angry with me and he threw me into the water. Since then, my fear of water disappeared and I learned to love swimming.

Don't give up - keep on writing. It is without doubt the most important language skill you'll need when it comes time for you to work.
Cytat: SimonPorter
since I was a child, I've been afraid of water

Wrong. Please delete your post and let @ania23m correct the text by herself.
edytowany przez zielonosiwy: 15 mar 2017
If you think my post is inappropriate, then please report it and let admin/the moderators decide.

you're going to have to explain to me how that's wrong ...
@SimonPorter

are you a teacher?

we hardly ever ask the administrators to delete posts on the grounds that they don't really help askers improve their English. Instead, we try to reason with the authors of such posts.
How was your post wrong? If you're a teacher, you should know without asking.
I've been a teacher for over 10 years.

There are many, many ways to teach someone English - one very good way, is to provide a native, natural example and for the learner to study it - this is what I've done and nothing more. I'd argue the method of 'point out every single mistake so that the learner can learn' is somewhat pointless here, because even if every mistake was corrected without paying any attention to the context, it still wouldn't be English.

I listen to, read and correct 'non-English' English every single day. Had teachers paid more attention to overall rules of structure/style instead of every single mistake and forgetting about context and overall message, there'd be a lot less 'non-English' English.
we don't offer regular English courses.
People want advice on their homework.
If someone correct their homework, they will copy-paste the corrected text and be happy that they have a completed assignment they can show their teacher and get a good mark. Is that your goal, too?
Exposure to good English makes sense overall and makes sense in the longer run.
Here on the forum, a one-off encounter can teach someone something if that someone does some work, such as correcting their own mistakes using clues from more experienced forum users.
We look at the context, too. Anyway, how much context do you need to know before you can point out that 'do he likes football' is wrong and what is wrong with it?
*corrects
Your missing the point I quite clearly made in my last post. Yes, of course, pointing out individual mistakes and what they are is OK. But, that's not what we have here is it?
Taking the writing above, correcting every single mistake given the framework its presented in is silly because the end, corrected result is not English. You must be able to see this?
If the 'corrected' text is not English, how exactly are you helping the student?
Imagine they took the 'corrected' version into an English exam tomorrow - would they pass? Not if I was the examiner because, wait for it .... its not English.

"Exposure to good English makes sense overall and makes sense in the longer run."
I think that's what I did, wasn't it?
how can you claim that the corrected text is not English if you haven't seen a text corrected this way AND you don't know what we do next?

Cytat:
"Exposure to good English makes sense overall and makes sense in the longer run."
I think that's what I did, wasn't it?

the longer run? How long have you been helping this particular user and how has she improved by analysing your corrections?
You're absolutely right. Fair point. I'll tell you what I'll do. Tomorrow (going to bed in a sec), I'll review what you guys do and I'll monitor the feedback from the people who ask for help. I'll see if there's a running dialogue between the person asking for help and the person helping which involves resubmission, revision, further resubmission, futher revision etc.

"you don't know what we do next"
I hope to find out by doing what I said I'd do above. You'll have to forgive me if I come back in a day or two and say that I can't see any determinable difference, but I hope to be proved wrong.
Cytat:
You're absolutely right. Fair point. I'll tell you what I'll do. Tomorrow (going to bed in a sec), I'll review what you guys do and I'll monitor the feedback from the people who ask for help. I'll see if there's a running dialogue between the person asking for help and the person helping which involves resubmission, revision, further resubmission, futher revision etc.

Just click on my name to the left of my postings and browse through my history.
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