jokes

Ouch, Grzechotnik - or rather Rita Skita (as it turns out:-) ) KIWI is not offensive. It is only offensive when you put it in offensive meaning. New Zelanders call themselves Kiwis, there is also very popular commercial of very popular tomato sauce with the song which says: and rememeber you will always be a Kiwi no matter what lalalala :-) They even stress the word Kiwi - so it\'s no offensive... If you will say bloody Kiwi the word Kiwi is not offensive but bloody... Kiwi is the same as New Zealander. Funny, isn\'t it?
Cheers

Essential NEW WORDS FOR 2004 editions for the work-place vocabulary:


TESTICULATING - Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS - The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY - The experience of spending entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people\'s heads pop up over the walls to see what\'s going on (This also applies to applause from a promotion/birthday because there may be cake.)

MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation\'s answer to the couch potato.

STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

XEROX SUBSIDY - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one\'s workplace.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again

ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the \"adminisphere\" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded \"administrivia\" needless paperwork and processes.


OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you\'ve just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you\'ve hit \'reply all\')

KILLER BUTTERFLY - someone who flights around looking good but destroys any project that he becomes involved with.

Right! Get out of here with your \'clever\' dispute. This is a post where people put jokes, not play wise guys. Damn, do u always take things so seriously? Laugh not to get crazy! Haven\'t u ever seen a movie in which one black man is saying to another you \'nigger\' or even \'dog\'? The same with a word \'whity\'! Yes this is offensive but not in jokes the hell, cause to offense is not an intention here. So gimme some more jokes.

Referring to someone as a \'nigger\' is not funny. Please read what I wrote about that word and what it implies. There are some things that we should never be tolerant of! I believe that we all CAN do something about changing long-held beliefs and opinions if those beliefs/opinions are offensive. I refuse to take the attitude that \'there\'s nothing we can do about it\'.

>>I am open-minded person and I like to
>>laugh unles it refers to handicaped people and racism.I think jokes
>>like that are sick

That\'s my point exactly! I agree with what you have said.....not sure whay you would say I should be more open-minded though because we both agree that racist jokes are sick.......

OK. Corum, take this:

\"from CBC news:
TORONTO - Racist remarks made by officers the day before the shooting death of an Ontario native protester in a police standoff reveal an attitude that made it \"real easy to shoot an Indian,\" the victim\'s family lawyer says.


There has been an explosion of hateful and racist speeches of civic leaders. Such utterances translate into hatred of people of colour, immigrants and refugees. Racism in high places has an impact on policies and programs. The comments by prominent politicians in the GTA have opened many eyes to how their private thoughts have impacted the policies, programs and priorities of the cities.

Mayor Mel Lastman of Toronto
\"What the hell do I want to go to a place like Mombasa\" ....\"Snakes just scare the hell out of me. I\'m sort of scared about going there, but the wife is really nervous.\" \" I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me\" (June 2001)\"


history of rasizm in Canada:
http://www.hopesite.ca/remember/history/racism_canada_1.html#native

how about rasizm in Canadian Universities? Check this one out!
http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?SectionID=30&ItemID=4994

Do I need to say more? Are you telling us there is no racism in Canada? I think you should think about that some more.

Canada has always had an open door policy to almost anyone who seeks a refugee status in this big and beautiful country. But examples I gave you are showing that racism is VERY present in Canada and very REAL. And what I am showing others is only the tip of the Iceberg.

Have you ever visited the Comedy Network? Ever you seen a stand up comedian Russel Peters ? He took Canada and US by storm with his racial jokes and remains the box office number one right now. Why? Because he is laughing at his own culture and does it beautifully! He has broken all the stereotypes with a number of other comedians as well.


Loosen up! These are just jokes. We are not politicians or organized crime mobsters. If you find this offensive, don\'t click on \"jokes\". Don\'t tell us what to laugh at, what is appropriate and what isn\'t - according to you. We don\'t care.

and the aforementioned ability is simply \"sense of humour\"

:)
The tone of your comment made me laugh. Thx.
:)

BLACK is N O T handicaped!!!! Please read what I written ABOVE.

grzechotnik, because I booked protected SO WELL all of the versions of writing the nick RitaSkita that when I lost my password ( emergency format: C:) I couldn\'t use me regular nick. So I used grzechotnik, and I stayed grzechotnik on this page to avoid confusion.

It exists everywhere but to a lesser degree here......you should comment on what the general public\'s response was to Mayor Mel\'s stupid comments...I think that is a better indication of how Torontonians feel in general.......and if you live in Toronto I challenge you to take yourself into Regent Park and tell one of your \'funny\' jokes....better yet walk up to black people on the street and greet them as \'niggers\' with a smile on your face......then come back and tell me about loosening up...I\'d be curious to know how many think it\'s funny......my purpose was not tell anyone what to laugh at but rather I mistakenly assumed that the word was being used in ignorance of its meaning....I realize now that you all understand full well what it means yet deliberately choose to refer to people as \'niggers\'. I congratulate you all on your insensitivity and leave you to wallow in your prejudices...........with exception to the 2 people who unequivocably stated that RACIST JOKES ARE NOT OK.......

I wonder how the best player on the Polish national soccer team feels about being branded a nigger? I myself am of South Asian background when I visited Poland I had the pleasure of being called \'nigger\' by a few of the locals.....I must admit that I was only mildly surprised since most non-white people I know assume that all Polish people are racist (an opinion I have been trying to convince people is just not true). Although you have not convinced me that all Poles are racist I wil leave this discussion better educated about your leanings......

For those people who truly are innocent of knowing what the word represents please be kind enough to read the following and let me know if you still believe the word is harmless:
http://www.ferris.edu/news/jimcrow/caricature/

Cheers all!

poor you :-) yep PCs are treacherous animals :-)

I read everyone\'s messages a few times and I still can\'t find a single hard core nigger or chink joke. What is your problem?
White people ahave been called \"white trash\" by others and we can joke about it too.
Do us a favor and chill out!

have a nice day!

A married couple sits in the restaurant.
Men orders:
-Potatoes, roast beef and a glass of wine
Waiter asks:
-What about vegetable ?
Man:
-Oh, she will eat the same....


I hope this joke won\'t cause any femisnist attack ;))

ok, I let myself try;)

Once upon a time, there were two friends living in one common den - a bear and a rabbit. The rabbit, unlike his friend, was a very ardent party-goer, and every time he came back home at dead of night, the bear would beat him up. One day, the rabbit begged the bear:
- Please don\'t beat me at least this once when I am back late at night, plese please, bear!
- Well, Ok...
Next morning, the rabbit wakes up and realizes that his ear is half torn, his coat is ragged, he has a black eye and his whole little body aches badly. Embittered, he hobbles towards the bear and, nearly crying, he asks:
- You promised... Why did you do it, bear?
- You came back, at first you called ma a fat faggot and a moron, I was just about to whack you, but I thought: I promised...
Then you started to insult my girlfriend... I thought: I primised... and I bore it.
Then you started cursing my mummy... But somehow, I restrained myself even then...
But when you shitted on my bed, sticked some crayons into the shit and announced that a hedgehog was staying overnight, I lost my temper!!!

I am afraid it doesn\'t have the same power as it has in Polish.... ;) Probably due to my poor translation

>sticked some crayons into the shit

good heavens! \"stuck\" of course....

I oto nowa podstrona:

https://www.ang.pl/jokes.php

:)

Hey grzechotnik just chill ok ? I do not mean to say that people of different color are handicaped i have many friends who are of different color.
I MEANT JOKES WHICH ARE VERY OFFENSIVE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE SEVERLY ILL AND THOSE WHO MAY EVEN DIE BECAUSE OF THAT SICKNES !!!
i REAPEAT I AM NOT A RACIST AND I DO NOT THINK THAT COLOR OF HAIR MAYT MEAN STH. HOWEVER I LIKE SOME JOKES ABOUT BLONDES THOUGH I AM ONE OF THEM.DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Hey grzechotnik just chill ok ? I do not mean to say that people of different color are handicaped i have many friends who are of different color.
I MEANT JOKES WHICH ARE VERY OFFENSIVE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE SEVERLY ILL AND THOSE WHO MAY EVEN DIE BECAUSE OF THAT SICKNES !!!
i REAPEAT I AM NOT A RACIST AND I DO NOT THINK THAT COLOR OF HAIR MAYT MEAN STH. HOWEVER I LIKE SOME JOKES ABOUT BLONDES THOUGH I AM ONE OF THEM.I ALSO LIKE JOKES OF SEXUAL CONTENT. DOE\'S IT MEAN THAT I AM (excause my french) A BITCH.I DO NOT THINK SO.DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Hey grzechotnik just chill ok ? i do not mean to say that people of different color are handicaped i have many friends who are of different color.
i meant jokes which are very offensive to people who are severly ill and those who may even die because of that sicknes !!!
i reapeat i am not a racist and i do not think that color of hair mayt mean sth. however i like some jokes about blondes though i am one of them.i also like jokes of sexual content. doe\'s it mean that i am (excause my french) a bitch.i do not think so.do you understand now what i was trying to say ???

Neeka: you completly didn\'t understand what I written! Read second time.
It is Mr Coron who should chill out here

I did not intend to post on this board again but kept checking responses to see whether anyone would openly agree with what I said about these \'jokes\'. Thank you Neeka for showing that you are a classy person and understanding that there is indeed a big difference between jokes in good taste and jokes that are in poor taste.

For those people who do not speak english as a first language please trust me that it is never ok for non-black people to refer to black people as niggers. Especially not ok for people of European heritage to do it because it was the European that created that word and used it ONLY in a negative way. Black people do refer to each other as \'niggers\' but the context in which they use the word is different - it is meant to bind them together and affirm their shared suffering. I realize that not everyone on this board has perfect english and I apologize if this sounds confusing. I think this grzechotnik person should understand more clearly what I am trying to explain since she professes multiple degrees and several spoken languages but it is evident that she prefers to take the low road (the most common road) of ignorance rather than one that tries to educate and understand. Remarkable as well how she fails to acknowledge a single one of my points in a logical manner and instead just disagrees for the sake of disagreeing. I would challenge you grzechotnik to ask your Jamaican friend how they feel about your \'jokes\' and in particular about you calling them nigger. I somehow think though that even if they told you the truth you would ignore it and try to defend your ridiculous position. I have one further challenge for You: I assume you work in a university or something.....so if you really care to show these jokes are harmless perhaps I could introduce you to my aunt and uncle who are both Phd(s) and who both teach with SUNY....she was a former director of NOW (National Organization of Women) and they both chair or act as directors for various organizations aimed at bettering race relations in universities around the world.....perhaps you could \'educate\' them on your theory of racism and bigotry being funny.....you never know: by converting them to your thinking you would be influencing the way univeristies all over the world view race........think of the glory for you.....

I and my friends have had many fights with white men for referring to us as \'niggers\' and I\'m of Indian heritage - not even black! But the word just means the absolute worst things. Remember people were and still are being killed, raped, burned because other people think they are \'niggers\'. Neeka\'s point about making jokes about severely handicapped people is just as good about racist jokes.

For example the joke about the \'nigger\' and the parrot confirms what many white people in the southern United States believed for a long time: that people from Africa were animals and were even more stupid than most animals! This joke if read by those white people would say to them that the writer believes the same as they do (that black people are like animals).....and if the same joke is read by black people it would say to them that the writer supports those racist white people.

I hope I have explained myself adequately.

For anyone who wants to continue chatting to practice their english you are more than welcome to contact me by leaving your email address in the \'Chat\' thread.

Cheers!

real great place ;-))), some of the jokes are pretty funny, but this all bullshit about rascism is fucking boring and completely worthless

What did you expect? Some insane raghead got access to a PC and he\'s spewing this kind of crap, crying about how poorly the niggers are treated and how bad the white massa\'s are.

Maybe his naan got burned and he\'s pissed and trying to piss everyone off. Or maybe he\'s bitter because this one relatively small country with relatively few \"whities\" conquered his much larger one with many more ragheads, who, in his opinion, were (and are) equal to those \"whities.\" See, this bothers him because he hasn\'t been given yet a good explanation as to why that happened. The obvious, of course, the fact that \"whities\" were (and are superior) to ragheads and other muds and that\'s why it was possible for them to conquer the world, does not even begin to enter his vastly underdeveloped brain.
But don\'t worry - he\'ll be back after a brief consultation with his \"educated\" and famous uncle / aunt scholars. He\'ll also have a great rebuttal after all he’s the educated raghead, unlike us poor white trailer trash with 6 grade education. Stay tuned...

Corum also doesn\'t read carefully. Nekka basically confused nicks as it is visible from what she said

Corum also doesn\'t read carefully. Nekka basically confused nicks as it is visible from what she said

Masala, you are just being plain rude and obnoxious right now. Has Corum said something to you that made you lose your cool completely?
Just drop it and no more put downs. These are for those with no class!

So u think u r wiser cause u\'ve read Nietzsche?! Lol and lol again. May I have your autograph master?
By the way I wrote about a black man naming another black man \'nigger\'. Is it offensive, or funny? I know the answer, try to find it. My tip is not to open some Nietzsche\'s book but think a bit. Make your answer as short as possible, please. Unless you add some joke.

Two blonds are talking :

"Which is further, Vancouver... or the Moon?"

The other replies: " HELLOOOOO, can you see Vancouver?? ?? ? ! ! ! !

[Q] why do english hurt their teeth when they drink coffee

[A] because their huge teeth dip in