Theese are not my favourite, but they're in english (n' nevertheless good):): An anthropologist wants to investigate an African tribe. He flies to Africa and finds a guide with
a canoe who will take him to the village. About noon on the second day of travel up the river, they began to hear drums. Being a city boy by nature, the anthropologist was worried. He asked the guide, “What are those drums?”
The guide turned to him and said “Drums OK, but VERY BAD when they stop.”
Then, after some hours, the drums suddenly stopped! The anthropologist panicked and yelled at the guide: “The drums have stopped,
the drums have stopped, what happens now?”
The guide crouched down, fear in his eyes,
covered his head with his hands and said,
“Bass solo”.
A big corporation recently hired several cannibals.
"You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing.
"You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat,
but please don't eat any of the other employees".
The cannibals promised they would not.
Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with you.
However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"
The cannibals all shook their heads no.
After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others,
"Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?"
A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals shouted,
"You fool!!! For four weeks we've been eating Managers and no one noticed anything,
but noooooo, you had to go and eat someone important!"
Theese are REALLY good:
The following signs have been found in various locations, using the English language somewhat creatively...
On an Athi River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
Actual Questions Asked in Court Rooms...
"How many time have you committed suicide?"
"Were you alone or by yourself?"
"How far apart were the cars when the collision occurred?"
"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"