Proszę o sprawdzenie: The best day of my life.

Temat przeniesiony do archwium
Koleżanka poprosiła mnie o przetłumaczenie jej tekstu, a ja teraz proszę o jego sprawdzenie. Prawdopodobnie niedługo poproszę o sprawdzenie własnej pracy, ale póki co zamieszczam tylko tę:

The best day of my life… Maybe it is unbelievable, but nothing special last in my memory. Like in most people life I had uncountable amount of good and bad moments. I think that it would be easier for me to describe the worst day of my life, besause i remember it in detail. But I think that one of those happy days was the day when I for the first time went for the all-night party. I think that I was about 15 years old it happened. It was my dream to go on this kind of party but my mother was always repeating: “It is too dangerous and You are too young for this.”
It was summer. Sunny August. My friends proposed Me to join them at the party. I decided to take a chance and ask my mother once more time if she will let me out with my friends... And she let me. I still can’t believe in this. I spend whole day on preparations. I was so incredibly happy. I went to the all-night disco. I was playing whole night with my friend. I had a greate time. It was realy unforgetable night.
The best day of my life... Maybe it is unbelievable, but nothing special last( ja bym tu napisala IS zamiast LAST) in my memory. Like in most people life ( 'Like in life most of people' bedzie brzmialo lepiej) I had uncountable
amount of good and bad moments.I think that it would be easier for me
to describe the worst day of my life, besause i remember it in detail. But I think that one of those happy days was the day when when I for the
first time went for the all-night party.( ''...was when I first time went for all-nigt party bedzie lepiej''). I think that ( bez tego THAT bedzie tez dobrze) I was about 15 years old (WHEN tu powinno byc) it happened.It was my dream to go on this kind of party but my mother was always repeating: “It is too dangerous and You are too young for this." It was summer. Sunny August. My friends proposed Me to join them at the party. I decided to take a chance and ask my mother once more time if she will let me out with my friends... And she let me.I still can't believe in this. I spend whole day on preparations. I was so incredibly happy. I went to the all-night disco. I was playing whole night with my friend. I had a greate time. It was realy unforgetable night.

Praca napisana bardzo fajnie to co ja bym zmieniła to napisałam w nawiasach:)
Pozdrawiam serdzecznie:)
Maybe it is unbelievable, but nothing special 'is in my memory' (Mozna tez 'comes to mind'). 'Like' in most people life' (LIVES) ('Like in life most of people' bedzie brzmialo lepiej- NIE, to nie jest poprawnie)
'I' piszemy ZAWSZE duza litera, nawet w srodku zdania.
...those happy days was the day when I for the first time went for the all-night party.(..was when 'I first time went'-NIE gramatycznie) TO AN all-night party). I think that I was about 15 years old when it happened.
It was my dream to go 'on' (NIE 'ON' ale 'TO') this kind of party..
.. “It is too dangerous and You (you w srodku zdania, piszemy mala litera)
My friends proposed 'Me' (NIE to nie gramatycznie- powinno byc THAT I JOIN) join them at the party. I decided to take a chance and ask my mother 'once
more time (NIE, albo 'once more' albo 'one more time') if she WOULD let me out with my friends... I still can't believe 'in this' (NIE, THIS wystarczy). I spenT THE whole day on preparations. I was playing THE whole night with my friend. I had a 'greate' (GREAT) time. It was 'realy' (REALLY) AN unforgetable night.
The best day of my life... Maybe it is +hard to believe+, but +no such very special day+ +sticks to+ my memory. Like +most people+ I *have* had +innumerable+ good and bad moments. I think that it would be easier for me to describe the worst day of my life, beCause I +can+ remember it in detail. +However,+ I think that one of +the+ happy days was the day when+, for the first time in my life,+ I went *to* *an* all-night party. I think (that) I was (about) 15 years old *when* it happened. It was my dream to go *to such a* party but my mother was always repeating: “It is too dangerous and *y*ou are too young for +that+."
It was summer. *A* sunny August. My friends *offered me" to join them at *a* party. I decided to take a chance and ask my mother *once again / one more time* if she *would* let me *go* out with my friends... And she let me. I still +cannot+ believe *it*. I *spent* *the* whole day on preparations. I was so incredibly happy. +Finally,+ I went to +that+ all-night disco. +We were having a great time, my friend and I+. +It was great fun!+ It was rea*ll*y *an* unforge*tt*able night.
very special day sticks IN my memory.

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